My brain is mush!

I have been getting a chance to see my gal pals lately, but life has sure been busy! I have been wanting to see my buddy Laurie who is home, and we finally got the chance the other day. Even though it was a short visit, it was so nice to just say hi, and have the boys together. :)It's also been great seeing Elissa every week! We have been getting dessert martini's these days..YUM! Yesterday to top off everything, I got to see Ann and get some Yucca Yucca!!!!!! If you haven't tried some, you must. Dex was sort of a grumpy pants when she came over, which is new for him. I am seeing some 'tude coming through!
Hallelujah! Today I got to see Lauren, Karen, and Tom! They had their bunches of kids with them. We went to Grand Rapids Township park. I had never been there before. It was awesome. Dex was getting sleepy so on the way home so I figured he would pass out. Note to self-Don't forget to put the pacifier back there for him if he is going to pass out. He cried for five minutes then passed out until we got home. Then he got his pacifier. Eeeeek, learned my lesson.
On another note. My cousin Erin just found out she is having a BOY! Wesley Lucas!(Not sure if I spelled it correctly) but how exciting! She will be here in just a matter of days for a visit! I am hoping they will be super close!
Now to go start packing for our week at Silver Lake!

Michelle & Renee meet!

Wow. Has time really gone by this fast?! I got to meet my buddy Renee all the way from Texas! Funny how it seemed like we knew each other our whole lives. It's not everyday someone can just meet a person online that feels like you have known them forever. Her family was just as I had pictured them. We all got along great, and it was such an easy, laid back, comfortable, relaxed trip! Her kids were just great, and we had so much fun with them! Doug and Derrick got along perfect,and we all just loved the babies up.
We went to the largest Children's Museum around! It was so cool! We also enjoyed our complimentary alcoholic beverages at the hotel from 5:00-7:30pm...one of the main reasons we chose the Embassy Suites hotel...ha ha.
I can't fully explain how awesome it was to get to hang out in person. Best friends just from some facebook chat? Is that possible we kept asking ourselves...umm.."totally!" We pretty much text all day long, even on the way there, and the way back..hehe. I miss them already! So so sad to say goodbye. If we lived near them we would be together all the time :( We decided we would go see them in Texas hopefully!! We need to go before we have to pay for a ticket for Dex..so before he is 2, and before we try again for another baby :) Now at least we have some happy memories to hang onto for awhile till the next visit! Cora, Evan, Logan, and Dex brought our friendship together. Thank you little ones :) Even in loss, we can find some joy :) Love ya buddy!

Michelle and Renee's adventure begins!!

Two years ago I met my best friend, Renee. Through our losses, we found friendship. If it weren't for facebook and the random pregnancy loss site I stumbled upon, we would have never met. Chatting on facebook we realized how much we had in common and then we exchanged phone numbers and began texting and talking every day! We spent lots of time crying together on the phone. When I found out I was pregnant again, she was the first person I called. At that point I was still in disbelief that it was true, but she said,"Michelle, that is positive..u r pregnant"..Just a few weeks later, she got to call me as well and tell me she was too! Evan and Cora were 4 weeks apart..and Logan and Dex are as well. We went through our loss, grief, and pregnancies together. Without her I would have never healed properly. We tried to make each other laugh when we never thought it would be possible, and didn't even feel guilty for it. In just a few hours I will finally get to hug her! Pictures soon to come!

Croup-tastic

Sooo, Dex is trying to get over Croup. It sucks. He has not been himself for a week now! He started out having a low grade fever for two days, poor guy, then not really wanting to eat, to having a major seal-like cough. The cough seems almost gone now, and he was on steroids for three days..but he still is a little plugged up and not really on his normal schedule.
I think he may have gotten me sick, but I am not sure. Maybe it's just from being out of sorts and tired. Hopefully he will kick this soon.
We are going to watch Derrick play soccer today, so that will be fun. Clare and Carl will be there, and I invited Elissa. Yay for being out with friends! It's so fun to bring the baby out to see everyone :)

7 Months and thinking back...

Little man is 7 months old! Can you believe it?! Seems like yesterday I was trying to figure out what kind of personality he was going to have by how he was in my belly. I determined he was going to be a very chill baby with super strong legs. So far I am correct! He wasn't super active in my belly, but he really had some pointy toes that would kill my side. I know for a fact Cora would have been super hyper, because she was moving around 24-7.
Today we went to Frederick Meijer Gardens and had such a great time. Just being a family and walking around with each other was an amazing feeling. Everything over the past two years felt so worthwhile.
Even though pregnancy was so scary for us, it's a risk worth taking to have this little gift, our son. Through all the shots, the worry, the pain, the stress, the lack of sleep during and after...it's the risk you take to become a parent. What would have happened if we stopped trying after Cora was born? What if we were too scared to never move forward? What if we let our fears get in the way? What if I decided to wait to try again after Cora was born, being that was what my doctor ordered? What if I had decided to listen to her, which I did not, and started trying asap.....? I decided to let my body do what it wanted to do, and not what a doctor decided. I do trust my doctor, but I knew that the only way I would get through Cora's death, was with new life. I know me better than anyone else. Sometimes we have to follow nature, and our bodies...and not strictly someones orders all the time.
To my dear friends, I say this, "Don't give up, it will happen. You will also be on the other side of this one day. You will not see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but you will. Through these pregnancy hardships, losses, tears, and pain, it will make you a stronger and more amazing person..and look at life in a new light. You are not alone."
I remember after I delivered Cora, I looked at Derrick and said "I will never do this again." Who was I kidding? It took a few days before I realized we would get through this, and after going to all the adoption websites daily..and talking with Derrick. He said, "Let's just try again, if nothing happens, we will adopt, or, if we do get pregnant and everything turns out okay, we could still adopt."
I know people always say, "You are lucky you don't have to be a woman!"..but I disagree.
My heart weighs heavy for my friends. Dedicated to you.