I must manifest things to happen...

Well, I have gone and admitted it. I make stuff happen. When I was 15 I said I would own the salon one day. I made that happen. I said one day I won't be highly allergic to cats anymore, somehow that happened! I have been wanting family to move to MI my whole life, and guess what?? I have finally gotten that to happen, too! My cousin Erin will be moving to GR in the next few months (as long as her house in CA sells), and with that, I am assuming the rest of the family will follow shortly after. Muahahaha, my plan is coming into fruition! Carly, you know you are next! We can always call the salon Carshelles down the road. (just kidding staff, don't freak out!)

So, as everyone knows, I get the keys to my new salon June 1st. I am pretty much freaking out on the inside right now with excitement. FINALLY!!! I have been waiting a long time for this! I have known over a year that we were moving, and it has dragged on forever it seems. It is sort of like having a new child oddly enough. One never knows what hurdles will be encountered along the way! I am so thankful for all the staff and clients support. The stylists know how crazy I have been with trying to get everything situated, that they took on the role of getting everything ready for the grand re-opening, while I make sure we are for sure ready by June 7th, opening day. I couldn't ask for a more amazing staff. They are getting together to make signs/decorations, treats, and a raffle for everyone. Can you believe how awesome they are??

I am very lucky. It seems as though everything does happen for a reason. It took getting a new staff a few years ago, which was scary at the time for me..change can be scary, and it turned out so much better than expected. I have learned you have to have people on your team with the same vision, or else it just won't work. Our vision is basically to help others when help is needed, listen to our clients, make people feel good about themselves, and respect one another.

The new salon is not just my own touches. Every stylist had an opinion and hand in getting the new salon together. From paint colors, to stylist stations, from seating, to decor.....we all told each other what we would like to see! Get ready folks! It's finally going to be The Hair Co. now, not The Hair Co. from 30 years ago with 4 different owners taking over the same salon....hehe

Funny little boy...

Dex is 18 months!! Seriously? A year and a half already? When did this occur? Well, let's update you all on what Dexter man is doing. He is for sure growing taller, but not gaining much weight right now. He is loving certain foods one day, and then hating them the next. This keeps me on my toes, and we end up wasting lots of food. He looks like he is five to me, I swear!

Words he is saying often are "bubbles, car, boat, mama, dada, papa, baba, kitty, doggy,up, boobs(yes i taught him this), mooooo, bzzzzzz, quack(sounds more like a scream), circle(sounds like kirkle),nana(banana),beie(belly), ball,eyes, hi, bye, vrooooom, cracker, pee-pee, poo-poo,cookie, water (wa-wa), nigh nigh(night night) and beep

.

He says what we say all the time now. It's amazing in the last

week all he has said. Derrick said "oh god" the other day while we were talking about a dumb person on the news, and Dex said "ooooh god". Sooooo, now we must be careful I guess, but I doubt we are ever going to remember. Ha! The pediatrician asked if he was combining words, and he has been lately. He says byebye mamma, and that is considered combining I guess.

Our little man has one obsession, and that right now is, Wa-wa. This kid is ridiculous. He now understands that water is not just in his cup. It is outside in our creek, it is on the grass in the morning, it is in the sink, in the tub, it comes out of our refrigerator door, it is on his toothbrush, and on tv. We have to push the lock button on our water dispenser because he knows how to fill his cup, but then he just dumps it on the floor. He watches us water the plants, so he now knows how to water the plants. We go

outside and he screams wa-wa, till we get to the creek, and then points and says wa-wa, over and over again. He picks up sticks and pokes at the water. He splashes in the water. He talks about it non-stop. He also has figured out flicking water from his toothbrush at me, and thinks that is pretty funny. NOT funny. We have one bathroom with a tub, the other two have showers....so we have to close the door and lock him out sometimes because he wants to be in that tub all the time. (funny how he is just like his parents! we both love baths)

Let's see, little man also hums to songs to pretend he is seeing along, which is really sweet. If I sing the ABC's, he sings his garbly talk while moving his head back and forth with the tune. He knows how to dance, and if you say "spin, spin a Dexter!" he spins in circles..(yes I treat him like a dog at times) . He can locate your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, bellybutton, hands, feet, head, hair, tongue,etc.....when asked. He is fascinated with one body part, I need not mention. He just wants to always make sure he knows we see it, and how cool it is. He points with a funny grin.

He is obsessed with being outside, as all kids are, but he will have a tantrum if you try to take him inside when he is not ready. His tantrums luckily don't last too long, since he has such a short attention span. I have been doing the stern voice, saying "1", "2", and he doesn't want me to get to "3", or his fun will end. The funny part is that he makes fun of me. When I say "1", he knows he needs to stop being nau

ghty, so he puts whatever was in his hands down, and mocks me by putting one finger up on each hand and instead of saying "1", it's more the tone of my voice he copies, he puts both fingers up with a grin, and goes "uuuuhhhH", and then I say "2", and he puts his fingers up again, and goes "ooooooooH"...he is a riot, huh? funny, funny little guy, NOT!

I don't enjoy taking him to restaurants because then Derrick and I can't really relax. Dex doesn't eat very much, so he wants to get up and run around. Therefor, we don't get to eat, but rather, go on a chase...Soooo, that isn't too fun. He will be good sometimes, but ya never know what will occur!

Grocery shopping is actually more enjoyable with Dex because he makes it way more fun. I hate shopping at Meijer, but with Dex, Derrick and I show him everything, and Dex pushes the cart, and he says hi to everyone. It's pretty cool, and cashiers usually end up giving him a balloon when he bats the baby blues at them.

O thee that is white Formica..so long and farewell

Well it's taken some time for my brain to clear and get back to normal.. hormones not messing with me anymore. We have decided to wait on having another baby, and start the discussion again after summer. I want to get fit, have fun this summer, hang with my little man for his first summer where he will experience everything, which will be amazing to see! It will be nice to just concentrate on him, and not have to worry about pregnancy.

Also, the new salon will be here in a matter of months..or rather, a little over one month!! This is more than just a change of scenery for me. For those of you who know me well, you understand that this is a world changing experience for my family and I. Buying a business at 23, with little to no business knowledge, and having to learn the hard way how to manage people and trust mentors was quite the learning experience. There were bridges that were burned, lessons that I never thought I would encounter. Even though there was a lot of hardship that went through trying to own a business at such a young age, there were so many people that were there for me. My family helped me along the way through learning that you can't please everyone, and you can't be everyones friend as a boss. Although, I love my staff and consider them my friends, and would do anything for them, they still understand our business relationship as well.

This new place is sort of like my own fresh start. It has taken a few years to get to this place where the salon is at today. I couldn't wish for a better staff. The support, the comradery, the trust, it's just finally here. The vision that I have been searching for, for my salon, is finally here. What better way to show them my appreciation, then to have a salon for all of us, a fresh new start, that WE make our own. We will emanate ourselves through this new salon, not someone else's vision from 30 years ago. See ya white Formica, bye bye!

Feels like a year went by.

So, it's been a week or so since the miscarriage. It's like we were never planning for a baby after all. So weird to switch things up so fast. We will be trying again, but not for a few months. We were going to try when we were originally planning, and hope for the best then. That loss always lingers, but like I said before, we have been through worse...sadly...It always sucks though when people are trying to plan out a family and it doesn't turn out the way you expect. Being a woman, most women know this. Everyone I know has had some sort of pregnancy loss it seems. Every woman handles it different emotionally, but I can tell you this much, any time someone has told me they have miscarried, tears seem to always come out..and that says something...It says something like this " this sucks, i'm sad, i'm angry, did i do something wrong, is this going to happen again?" ARGH. Even though one isn't that far along sometimes, I guess I have realized that as much as I tried to be strong about everything, it is horrible. I do wonder if it was a boy or girl...and stuff like that...

People keep saying how strong I am and stuff like that, and are amazed that we can think of trying again after everything we have been through. I kinda think that is sorta silly to me, because I don't think of myself like that, or strong, etc....It's just the human need to have a family I think. I know at least it's possible because we have Dex...so it's natures force I guess that keeps us wanting to try again...I do think once we eventually hopefully have one more baby, I will be DONE with the whole pregnancy thing...at least for a LOOOONG while...unless we decide down the road for one more....which is highly unlikely. PREGNANCY SUCKS. There, I said it. I for sure don't do it well, but there are some parts I like:

1.) eating a lot = awesome

2.) not caring what clothes u wear just going for comfort and people understand

3.) the sweet parking at the mall and baby stores for expectant mothers

4.) feeling your baby kick is the coolest thing on earth probably..till it hurts cuz they are bigger

5.) hubby getting meals late at night for me...wait he does that now...scratch that..

6.) hearing that heartbeat is pretty amazing

7.) ultrasounds are amazing when good.....

things i don't like:(but am willing to go through obviously...)

1.) sciatica..it blows. ouch

2.) hip pain

3.) back pain

4.) puking

5.) hard to sleep

6.) leg cramps

7.) round ligament pain

8.) braxton hicks

Well hopefully in the future we will have some better/exciting posts...till then...It's on to Dexter!

What is Dexter doing?? "Dexter is learning to talk. He is pretty good about copying what you say. Some newer words he has been saying.. "all gone", "bubbles", "boobies"(ugh my bad), "hot", "car"....He is OBSESSED with cars, car commercials, cars in the driveway, toy cars, cars in magazines, cars on his pjs, waving to cars when we are out driving....waving to cars out the window...Have I gotten the picture across to you??

Also, when we grocery shop he loves to say hi to EVERYONE. He just waves and says "hi, hi, hi" and he will wait for a response. He basically will give you a sweet smile and stare you down till you answer him. He loves seeing kids out, it's like he is fascinated by little people.

He is also in a clingy only wants me to hold him all day while I am trying to run around and do dishes or laundry, etc...or cook...it's kinda frustrating because he just cries if I put him down. It also could be because he isn't feeling well with his cold, but still...I need to get some things done!

Today it was battle over the drippy snot day. What a joyous occasion...

Poster Child for Pregnancy Loss??

So, we lost the pregnancy, and I am back to myself again. Yes, of course we are sad that the baby is gone, but at the same time realized that this was not the right time. The relief I had when everything was said and done, made me realize that I wasn't even mentally prepared to go through another pregnancy just yet. I guess I pushed aside everything we went through to get Dex, and it was a very stressful 9 months going to three doctor appointment a week plus shots, tons of ultrasounds and turning my world upside down....and then, I got pregnant again and just figured since Dex came out okay, that maybe I wouldn't have to go through all that again. Turned out, when I met with my doctor after they saw the heartbeat, she said the specialists will want to take the same path as before, because I ended up with a healthy baby. Needless to say I was ready to do whatever they told me, but thinking about how that would be while having a toddler to watch, I was surely overwhelmed...I didn't think I would have to do all that again, and I was for sure stressed and upset thinking about it. I didn't know how I would have help every week to go to all the appointments, while working, while moving into a new salon, and not being able to be my full mommy potential to Dexter. This all was waring on me mentally. Also, having the dog to take care of as well...Sooooooooooooo...then I had all the bleeding which scared me deeply, I didn't want to lose this baby, but when I did, I finally knew I didn't have to worry about the blood anymore, I wasn't in limbo anymore, and I knew I could focus on what I needed to focus on and actually better prepare for when we do try again. I am not ready to try again any time soon. We will know when the time is right. This time we will actually plan it, and get things in order to prepare for everything we will need to do. We thank you for all your kind comments and prayers, and we are thankful for all your support. xoxo

Seriously?

As if mother nature hasn't messed with me enough already...it decided to throw me some curve balls. I was working all day, went to the bathroom and saw RED blood. Prior to this the past few weeks I have been spotting just old brown blood...which is supposedly normal. The doctor and nurses told me, if it's brown, you are all good, if it's red, please call us. Great, right?? So I call the doctor, and she says "well, sometimes people bleed, and I think you will be just fine because we saw the heart beat a few days ago"...needless to say it is hard to set the mind at ease when you are bleeding while pregnant...right? I basically went home to rest and put my feet up, which doesn't really work well with a 1 year old...so I ended up chasing him for awhile...until Derrick took over and played with him and put him to bed.

I have a pretty busy day again tomorrow, but my stylists have been doing pretty well with helping me shampoo or style my clients after I cut or color them. It helps so I can sit for those minutes at least. I didn't think I would have to start this early with getting "help". But I have learned to screw what people think, and just listen to my body. Everyone has an opinion either or, and this time I don't care what people think. I don't carry babies well, and if I need to take it easy, I will. With Cora I was working 40 hour weeks, no help, and look where it got me. I knew my body was sore, but everyone kept telling me.." so and so worked till full term, or nurses can do it, so suck it up, etc"...This time, and with Dex...I could care less now what people think. My staff is so supportive which is amazing..I guess we will just hope the blood doesn't keep coming back..that would make me feel better...

almost nine weeks

BABY IS ALIVE AND FLUTTERING! Saw and heard the heartbeat today. The secret is out, well, sorta, most of u knew! lol. Feeling much better about not having sickness cuz all is well! Finally feel like this is real now. It's all coming together. I will have to probably go on progesterone shots again weekly, and have weekly ultrasounds, but I will take it! Anything to help this little babe make it into the world :)