Sometime ya gotta be selfish.

So we leave for Vegas on Thursday, and we are so excited! It will be a nice long weekend away. I have sorta been in this selfish mode since delivering Wren. It's like I have waited so long NOT to be pregnant any more! I had all these things lined up that I wanted to accomplish or do to feel ME again! First on the list was to get fit. Second, was to go to Vegas. Third, was to seek out doing things I am passionate about..which is obviously, photography...which you all know. Here are some of my recent favorite shots!

It's not something that I just started. I have been intensely obsessed since high school. I lived in the dark room. Back then we didn't do much digital! I feel so old! We used chemicals to develop our photos...It was so much fun though. I lived and breathed photography. I was glued to the computer using photoshop in the art room, and always signed out a camera to have at all times. I bought my first Canon in probably 9th grade. Every year I would upgrade something with it...whether it be a new camera itself, or a new lens, or filters, etc....I now finally felt like I could focus on it because my brain was not focused on trying to make tiny humans. ( I recently bought two new lenses and a speedlight, and have a photoshop class coming up..and will be taking more classes soon enough) People keep telling me I am crazy, and where do I find the time for everything...I am not sure how to answer that..because I really don't know. I always wanted to do this, so I am going for it.

 I can move forward and do some things for me now. I am no longer a vessel. People might judge me how I live my life right now..but ya gotta understand my last 4-5 years. I have birthed THREE kids in under 5 years. Out of those years, I was pregnant 111 weeks if you add it up. 23, with Cora, 38 with Dex(only two months after I gave birth), (10 week miscarriage in between),and 40 with Wren. Now, imagine, you can't go out with friends late..you can't drink..you can barely move because you don't handle pregnancy well. You can't eat things you crave. You can't travel. You can't really feel like yourself because you can't fit into any clothing that shows who you are..and that you feel most you in. It was rough! It's like trying to rediscover yourself again. I am going out. I am going to the bar. I am going to concerts. I am traveling. I am going to the gym. I am living it up! I seriously have to. I was going insane. You would to. I can't even begin to understand how I am not completely messed up after all we have gone through.
Sometimes I do feel like I need to explain myself. I am not the typical "mom" that I see in some of my friends..which is fine I think..I just am sorta more focused on myself right now. I love my kids, but they don't define me. I still want a life with my husband minus the kids. We go out, a lot. More than any of my other mom friends. We even take turns letting each other go out every few days with our friends, or by ourselves. I find myself and my marriage way happier this way. If we are happy, we are better with the kids, too. Especially if we are relaxed. Anyway, onto the kids...

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Wren- She flips over, and then gets super mad. She has started drooling, and can not keep her hands out of her mouth. She loves standing with help. Laughs and smiles all the time. She is a very happy/content little girl. Soooo not how she was when we first got her home! I still think I am looking at baby Dex all the time. She has a lot of the same mannerisms as Dex, and they do look very similar as babies. Even the same hair. A tuft down the center, then nothing, and a tiny mullet. They have completely different noses, though. She has this pug-like button nose thing going on. Not sure where that came from. Waiting to see how it evolves, lol. Her eyes are lightening, still not as bright as Dexters. Her lips are thinner and more pointy on the top than Dex. He had fuller, fatter lips. Her body is also more dainty, but she is getting that round fat face that Dex had! She is really starting to plump up.

If I could guess her personality right now..I would say she is really laid back, sorta go with the flow. I think she will grasp/understand things easily. She hates being by herself, which Dex never minded. If I leave the room she is ok, but she gets a really sad look when you walk away. She loves to be held, and be a part of everything. I am very positive she will be social. She loves when people smile, and loves watching herself in videos. She gets super excited.She is growing so fast! I went to put her #1 diaper on, and I swear her butt grew in a day! I had to go purchase #2 diapers! I recently caved and put rice in her night time bottle...although she still got up the past two nights like normal every 3 hours to eat. Not sure if she's hungry, or if it's just soothing to her...but she gobbles it down..so I assume, hungry.
Derrick and I just think she is the cutest little Missy Mouse.

Dex- He is just an awesome kid. He has been talkative since he came outta the womb. The kid explains everything in detail. He is smart as a whip (street smart..lol) For example...The other day we told him to put his winter coat on, but he got a different one and said "I like this one cuz it's all warmy and soft and I love it" Basically his cuteness gets him off the hook a lot. Or when we say it's time for bed and he is watching one of his netflix ipad shows...he always says "it's almost over"..and we are like "dude, it has 30 minutes left..it's not almost over..turn it off"..He truly is a smart little guy though. He knows all his colors, and numbers, etc..Knows his alphabet, etc..All the basic stuff. He is learning to not throw toys and hit people at Pre-school, though. Gotta love this age. He has been doing better with that. He is just learning he is not the center of the universe like he thinks he is. He is potty trained and stands up to pee. It's the weirdest. He can get put his underwear and pants on all by himself. He is in that mode. Has to help mommy clean, do dishes, laundry, etc...He empties the garbage, and he empties the dishwasher..He is very good about that stuff. He is eating a lot better, because he actually eats...Still super tiny though. He still loves everything "boy". Cars, trains, airplanes...etc..He loves his stuffed animals so much though. He is always hugging and kissing them. He has Daddy, Mommy, and baby Eyore. His love of blankets he got from me. We always have a ton laying around.
All in all. Life is super crazy...but it's all goood.