Thinking of Zayde

My Zayde (grandfather)..is not doing well. He is one of the closest people in my life. I knew the day would come when he may not be around, but was pretty much in denial about it. I figured he would be around until my child was at least 6 years old. I love how I think I have control in the matter. (sarcasm). I am not prepared to see him in the hospital, and I don't know what to expect. What do you say to someone you care about so much, knowing that THEY know they won't be around for much longer? Can one possibly cheer them up? Is he ready to go? Is he pissed as hell he can't meet his great grandson? Am I supposed to pretend like it's not a big deal that they will never meet? It just all doesn't seem fair. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Life will not be the same without him. I won't get to hear his praises if I make him proud, or he won't be there to cheer me up when I am down. It sucks. When Cora died he helped to clear my head, along with my grandma. They had lost a baby girl as well. Cora's middle name was named after my Zayde. His name is Raymond, and Cora's middle name was Rae. He let me know how he handled things when his baby girl died, and told me how I would get through it. You think they will always be there, but life doesn't really happen that way. All I know is his blood runs through me, as well as Dex. Dex has blue eyes from my Zayde, down through my dad, and from myself. He is the reason we started having kids when we did. He called me and said "I'm not getting any younger, I would love some great grand kids!" so i obliged! Yet, ironically, he doesn't get to meet any of them. Life will just not be the same. He is the head of our family...and now that role will be eventually passed down to my dad.

Weekends are the best!

Today has been very relaxing. Dex usually wakes up pretty upset because he detests mornings just like his mother, but once he is up he is happy as can be. Derrick and I take turns getting things done on the weekend and I always take a bath in the morning first. On this particular morning we decided Dex wanted to take a dip with mommy. He loved it. I think he is going to be a big fan of the water. Thankfully we have the cottage to go to all summer. He is going to become a fish! I think we will start swim classes in a few months. It just is weird how our whole fam has to be in every room together, even the bathroom! Seriously..my pets are crazy.
We also have some nicknames or this little guy, such as: Goo, GooGoo face, BusterBrown, Bubbas, and Googie..Funny how that would have annoyed me when I wasn't a mom..haha Well, off to eat breakfast. Derrick makes me and Bob eggs every sat!

Dex went on his first vacation this week. We went to the Little River Casino, and Crystal Mountain. He did so well in the car. He slept the whole time. We also used his stroller for the first time, and he loved that! Since it's been so cold, I haven't had a chance to take Dex anywhere because I would rather him be in the warm house. This was a good experience to test it out and be outta the home for once. We went with Derricks fam, and they were kind enough to watch the babe while we gambled.

In the morning we went to Crystal Mountain so they could ski, and so I could go to the spa. everyone had a great time, and Dex was pretty pooped out that day. He slept in the stroller a decent amount.

It was also Derricks 30th bday, and I made him a mousepad with pictures of our family. He loved it, and Dex got daddy playing cards for poker. Was a great two days!